Bob Novak: Old Fashioned *insert expletive here*
0 comment Monday, May 26, 2014 |
Bob Novak released a statement today that he will shortly be undergoing treatment for a brain tumor. At the time of this post, it was undiagnosed. I will leave the original for something like journalistic integrity, but for the record, this author now finds Mr. Novak a bit more sympathetic.
From our nation's capital comes this tale of driver violence, and bicycle heroism. It appears syndicated columnist Bob Novak hit a 66 year old man with his corvette while the man was crossing the street on a walk sign. As Novak sped off, cyclist David Bono chased him down, caught him, and blocked his progress until police arrived.
Apparently being a hostile driver is a point of pride for Mr. Novak, here's some excerpts related to previous hostilities:
Novak explained to the paper: "He was crossing on the red light. I really hate jaywalkers. I despise them. Since I don't run the country, all I can do is yell at 'em. The other option is to run 'em over, but as a compassionate conservative, I would never do that."
Two years later, the same column reported that Novak had gone to a racing school in Florida.
"I've wanted to be a racecar driver all my life, and anyone who has watched me drive can tell you that," Novak said.
So Mr. Novak's utopia looks something like the Pixar cartoon Cars, with the added corvette and octane fueled old-man power fantasy of killing pedestrians. I'll assume Bob was being facetious on this point, but just for the record sir, here's what that would look like.
As to your desperate wish to be a race car driver, aka, cool , I'm sorry to say that buying a fast car with a pedal to stomp on won't get you there. Here's you:

I'll tell you what, if every fat old man jonesing to be a young, fit, famous continental would just go buy themselves a Seven instead of a midlife crisis mobile, they might actually make some progress on the fitness side of things.
And another thing, if you are a sports car owner with a lifelong penchant for being a racecar driver, isn't getting caught and detained by a bicyclist just humiliating?
Nice Work, David Bono, my hero of the week.

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